If you’re embarrassed to ask a question in front of others, consider doing it through an impersonal format like email, or wait for a time when you can do it privately. Asking the right questions at the right time is a characteristic of strong leaders. [3] X Research source
Ask yourself, “What do I hope to learn by asking this question?” This will help you formulate the question more effectively.
If the question you’re about to ask is one you wouldn’t feel comfortable answering yourself, it might be better to let it go. Redundant or obvious questions can distract from the big picture, and may make it seem like you’re not paying attention.
You wouldn’t ask your spouse how to treat acute bronchitis, just as you wouldn’t ask your doctor how you can be a better listener during arguments. By directing your questions judiciously, you stand to make the discussion more enriching for both parties.
In most cases, you can simply raise your hand or wait for a pause in the conversation to fire off your question. If you’re not in a position to ask a question immediately (such as late at night or in the middle of a presentation), make a note of it so you can bring it up the first chance you get.
Stay away from complicated jargon or overly technical terms. Aim to speak in a way that anyone can understand. Avoid influencing your listener with your own judgments. Rather than asking, “Isn’t David a great candidate?” try the more neutral, “What did you think of Mr. Miller’s proposal?”[8] X Research source
If you need to touch on multiple points, do it in follow up question. [10] X Research source In general, it’s best to stick with short sentences that don’t beat around the bush. Otherwise, your listener may be forced to guess at your meaning. Even a question as difficult to unpack as, “How can we create a more tolerant society?” can be phrased in a simple, straightforward manner.
Maintain eye contact, nod or offer a vocal agreement periodically to let the person know you’re listening. [13] X Research source Now is not the time to interject with doubts or opinions. After all, the whole point of asking was to find out something you don’t already know.
It can be advantageous to approach the topic from different angles. If your first question is, “What is the biggest obstacle facing this project?,” the next one could be, “How can we resolve the issue quickly and efficiently?”[15] X Research source Narrow down subsequent questions as you deliver them—start by presenting an overview of the subject, then work your way into the nitty-gritty details.
Arriving at the right answer promptly will be most useful in situations where your ability to succeed depends on having all the facts, like when you’re studying for an exam or in need of directions. Developing a habit of asking thoughtful questions every day is one of the first steps to becoming a lifelong learner. [17] X Research source
Asking inclusive questions that get the people around you involved and thinking is essential for building camaraderie, whether they’re a coworker or a casual acquaintance. [19] X Research source These types of questions also have a positive effect on relationships because they show that you care about what the other person has to say.
Whereas “Did you like my painting?” invites a simple “yes” or “no” response, “What did you think about the exhibit?” invites the listener to elaborate on their impressions freely. [21] X Research source Abstract questioning challenges listeners to draw their own conclusions rather than being guided toward a conventional answer.
