A good rule of thumb when asking someone a favor is to make sure that the benefit to you significantly outweighs the inconvenience it might cause the other person.
If you need a ride home from work, consider asking the coworker that you know drives by your street every day, anyway. Or if you are going to dinner with a group of friends, maybe ask the friend that lives closest to you for a lift to the restaurant. Make sure you consider lifestyle factors, too. If you have a friend with two small children, or who’s been working a lot of overtime lately, they will likely need to be more conservative with their extra time and energy than your friend who teaches guitar lessons three afternoons a week and still lives with his parents. If your cousin wakes up early every morning for her job, you probably don’t want to ask her for a ride to the airport to catch your red eye flight. Or a friend who works as a bartender probably won’t be very excited about bringing you to pick up your car from the body shop at seven a. m. on a Saturday. It’s extremely important that you know the other person well enough to be sure you feel safe spending time alone with them. It’s never a good idea to get into a car with a near-stranger, or someone with whom you don’t feel comfortable.
It’s also a good idea to begin the conversation with something along the lines of “Hi so-and-so, I have a favor to ask you…”. Not only is this appropriately straightforward, but using the word “favor” also shows that you understand the person would be going our of their way for you, whereas “Could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow?” could run the risk of sounding like a command, and therefore off-putting. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
This also goes for asking for a ride in front of other people. Many people have a difficult time saying no if there is an audience, and they might suspect that you are capitalizing on this.
Often people will refuse to take your money, but don’t count on this! Make sure you have cash on had to give them, just in case.
If your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip. If you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it’s easier to pull over. If they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smart phone. Be ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won’t have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule.
Don’t criticize the person’s car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is. Don’t criticize their driving, and avoid being a “backseat driver”. Don’t fiddle with any of the car’s dials. Even if they are listening to most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they’d be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down. Don’t be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that’s great! But if they don’t seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they’re listening to on the radio.
If you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying “Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!” might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back. However, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can’t afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank you card will work, too. Make sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise it can seem like you’re trying to obligate them. For instance, don’t bake your friend cookies and as she’s biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday. [4] X Research source
