The gothic social scene offers places where goths can form a community and share ideas. These environments may include coffee shops, thrift stores, clubs, and music stores. Common ground: When you hang out at La Note, a gothic coffee parlor, you might find that you enjoy “existential philosophy,” the idea of thinking about the meaning of life. The gothic personality is usually associated with a strong sense of individualism and an appreciation of the darker side of life, the supernatural, mysterious beauty, dark aesthetics, art, emotion, mystery, and drama. Common ground: After speaking to someone who’s part of the gothic subculture, you might find yourself really interested in divination and may even want to learn how to read tarot cards. Gothic music is a very important part of goth culture. The goth social scene usually revolves around its haunting or dramatic music, which tends to have an eerie or surreal tone. Gothic bands usually focus on gothic themes, such as the grotesque or the mysterious. Common ground: Following a night out at Death Guild, a local gothic dance club, you remember how much you love the gothic industrial band, Nine Inch Nails.
Style. This might include the cut, color, or kind of clothing she is wearing. Look for accessories, especially ones that are prominent. Take special note of unique articles of clothing, like fishnets, capes, studded or spiked clothing, ankhs, chokers, and more. Makeup. Many goths appreciate the sharp contrast of black and white, so they’ll often wear light colored makeup with dark accents on the lips and eyes. Compliment special flourishes, like elaborate cat eyeliner or intriguing colored eye contacts. [3] X Research source Musical involvement. Strike up a conversation with her about live music or her favorite bands. You could also show your interest by asking her what she likes most about her favorite goth musicians. [4] X Research source
Gothic Novels:Dracula, by Bram Stoker1984, by George OrwellFrankenstein, by Mary ShelleyThe Inferno, by Dante Alighieri Gothic Comics and Graphic Novels:The Sandman comics, by Neil GaimanThe Crow comics, by James O’BarrJohnny the Homicidal Maniac, by Jhonen Vasquez
Popular Goth Movies:The HungerThe Rocky Horror Picture ShowDraculaThe CrowEdward ScissorhandsThe Nightmare Before ChristmasBeetlejuiceHellraiserDestiny Popular Goth Music Groups:BauhausChristian DeathThe Sisters of MercyJoy DivisionDrab Majesty
“Hey! I’m Xavier. I just wanted to tell you how much I love all your commentary in our Film Lit class. You have a knack for figuring out what makes all the characters tick. " “I noticed that you’ve been reading The Sandman. I’ve already tore through the whole series and binged the entire show on Netflix! I’m actually planning on going to Neil Gaiman’s book signing next month. "
On the other hand, if she avoids eye contact, slouches, frowns, and crosses her arms, it’s a sign she’s not in the mood to talk. If she gives you cues that it’s not the best time to chat, give her some space. Don’t take it personally if she’s not immediately receptive. She might’ve had a bad day or takes time to warm up to people. Wait until she engages with you to strike up a conversation again.
TV shows “Yeah! I love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, too. I live for cringe comedy. ” Classes “Oh—your thesis is on Jane Austen? Which of her novels are you focusing on?” Activities “You fence and play tennis? That’s wild. Actually…I’m a little jealous. Can you teach me some tricks?” Places “I should definitely check out a cat cafe. My landlord won’t let me have pets, so I need to get my feline fix somewhere. ”
For example, she might have a fascination with the macabre, while you’re a med student who idealizes healing others. The two of you might have fascinating discussions in which she talks about the fleetingness of life and you celebrate all of its wonders.
If you agree with her take, feel free to share that— “Definitely. Solitude can help you get in better touch with yourself and tap into your inner world. ” When you have a different perspective, say it in a respectful way—“I empathize, and I can see how the heroine would embrace that. If I were in that situation, though, I think my anxiety would creep in. ” It can be tempting to mold yourself into the person she’d like. However, this can put a strain on your dynamic. Avoid presenting yourself as someone you’re not so she can get to know you on a deeper level. [12] X Research source As long as you’re thoughtful and engaged in your conversations, she’ll appreciate the effort you’re putting in.
You’ll also avoid misunderstandings when you regularly touch base and check if you understood her correctly. Make a non-judgmental comment like, “I wanted to make sure I caught all of that. Did you say that you prefer weather that’s always overcast because the atmosphere inspires you?”
Turn your phone off and put it away while you hang out. If you give her your full focus, she’s more likely to be impressed. Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are. When you show a girl that you’re genuinely interested in what she loves, it makes her feel like you care. [16] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021. Be spontaneous and fun-loving, too. For example, say, “Okay! We’re going to talk about the horror movies that terrified us as kids? Perfect first date material. I like it. ”
You don’t have to try to dress like a “goth” to get her to like you. Sometimes, opposites attract, so she might be looking for someone with a different style who complements her.
If you want to check if she’s flirting with you, see if she’s playing with her hair or making suggestive remarks like, “You’re winding me up!I like it, though. ”
You might also make her melt if you smile with your eyes, which makes you look warm and inviting. A goth girl might just see you as her fairy tale hero (or dashing lover).
