Seriously. Think about it. When a man and woman are dating, the element of mystery mainly comes from the way each person views and interacts in the world. The man sees the woman flitting about in her feminine world, knowing he’ll never be a part of it and vice versa. The same goes for your unique world, regardless of gender, regardless of relationship.
There is nothing mysterious about having low self-worth. When that’s plaguing you, all your actions are dictated by the thought, “Will people accept me?” A) That’s not at all attractive and B) it’s super easy to see through and figure out. The confident person, the one who’s comfortable in their skin, asserting themselves, standing up for what they believe in, is the one people naturally flock to, the one people will look at and say, “What is it about them?”
Be the one who’s lighthearted in dire situations. And if you must show emotion, show ones that wouldn’t necessarily correlate with the circumstance. It’s cold outside but it’s not snowing? What the heck, mother nature?! What kind of game is she trying to play?! Man, this winter just isn’t worth it. You’re moving to Belize.
Having a slight smile on your face at all times is a good way to start. Not only will you look more friendly and approachable, but people will be left wondering, “What’s really going on in her head?” If you’ve ever walked by someone on the street that’s smiling or laughing to themselves, you know this feeling.
While it’s not the most sophisticated of tactics, it will get people wondering what the heck is going on in that brain of yours. And it can be fun! So next time you order a shrimp salad, preface it with, “I have a shellfish allergy. " When they ask why you ordered what you did, tell them you’ll work through it.
Try to summarize stories as factually and accurately as possible without truly getting into it. Don’t insert commentary – just stick to what actually happened. Just keep things simple and do a lot of listening. Let’s say your boyfriend asks you about your ex. Instead of going on and on about why it didn’t work out, tell them, “We didn’t mesh. When the relationship ended, I stopped thinking about it. " Simple. Terse, maybe, but to the point and honest.
Think about your body positioning when you’re interacting with a person. Experiment with changing it around and seeing how the other person reacts. Play with your tone of voice. Your eye contact. Leave them wondering how the heck you were feeling.
Ask open ended questions. When you see a spark in them, jump on it. Get them talking about it. Act genuinely interested to keep them going. You’ll seem nice, like a good listener, and you’ll be fun to be around even though you’re barely doing anything. See? Easy.
Instead of saying, “Oh my gosh, I read this thing on the Internet the other day while I was killing time before drinks with Sally about how drinking one more liter of water a day can lead to noticeable weight loss long-term and I’m definitely gonna try it. Working out just isn’t enough!” stick to, “Some research is saying that upping your water intake can lead to noticeable weight loss. Definitely a viable tactic. " You’re getting the same point across without exposing too much about yourself.
Do this sparingly. If you get up and leave from a party all the time, it’ll become a quirk of yours that’s a little annoying. If you never show up in the first place, you’ll stop being invited. So as with anything, pick your battles.
If keeping your past a secret sounds like an issue, make a game out of it. Tell everyone a story about how you lived in Viet Nam a while back and worked on a ferret farm. Then talk about how you were a chef at a fine restaurant back in your old ‘hood. And then magically insert into a random conversation down the line the story of the year you spent hanging out with Charlie Sheen. Might as well get a kick out of the image you’re cultivating, right?
If you like it, go for it. You can mix up styles in one look, or you can rock different looks at different times. One day you rock the black rimmed glasses, the next day it’s North Face. The next day it’s a top you made yourself. Or it’s all three at the same time. Whatever floats your boat.
The more dynamic you are, the harder you’ll be able to be put into a box. And once people have you boxed in, you’re no longer mysterious. So go out there and do something that “you” wouldn’t normally do. Not only will you be mysterious, but you may find something you seriously enjoy that you didn’t think you would.
it’s a good idea to keep the volume to a minimum, too. Ever noticed how loud people are never mysterious? No one ever says, “Americans, now that’s one mysterious bunch!” So feel free to whisper to the person next to you with that blank, unreadable face of yours. Everyone will probably think you’re talking about them. Win. Oh, the games we play.
The fact of the matter is we don’t need to know what all of us are doing at any moment. The less we know, the better, really. If you want to be mysterious, leave people wondering where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing. So avoid checking into Starbucks every morning. Avoid “Dear so-and-so” statuses. Resist the temptation of putting a hashtag after everything you say. While social networking is useful, don’t use it to let the world in on everything you think and do.
The fact of the matter is we don’t need to know what all of us are doing at any moment. The less we know, the better, really. If you want to be mysterious, leave people wondering where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing. So avoid checking into Starbucks every morning. Avoid “Dear so-and-so” statuses. Resist the temptation of putting a hashtag after everything you say. While social networking is useful, don’t use it to let the world in on everything you think and do.
Wanna have a little fun with it? Pretend you’re someone you’re not. When you enter a party, you give people a fake name and ask them if the mob has been here recently. It’s not quite the same as being yourself, but it can be quite entertaining!
