Set small goals for yourself at first. For example, you can promise to make small talk with a new person before class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. As you begin to feel more comfortable socializing with others, try to set bigger goals. You can promise you’ll go to the birthday party you were invited to and try to talk to at least 3 new people. If you’re persistent with following up on your goals, you’ll eventually feel much more comfortable socializing. This can allow you to meet new people and make a great number of new friends.
Do not be afraid to ask a popular girl to do something with you, especially if you have already established a firm connection with her in school. If you get along with someone inside the classroom, there’s a good chance that person would be open to spending time with you outside the classroom.
Find out what kind of social media accounts are popular in your school. If the popular girls are really interested in Snapchat, sign up for an account. You may want to check with your parents before opening certain social media accounts, however, just to make sure that it’s okay in your home. Focus on meaningful interactions online. People tend to respond better to personalized messages over vague status updates. Congratulate one of the popular girls about winning a spelling bee or getting accepted into a summer internship program. Keep in mind virtual friends cannot make up for real friends. While socializing online can enhance existing relationships, avoid talking to strangers on the internet. Not only will this not increase your overall popularity, it can be a safety issue as well.
However, don’t be overly nice or it might come across as fake and people will be wondering who you really are. Be polite to everyone but reserve special acts of generosity for your genuine friends, to avoid stretching your personal resources too far and seeming like you’re not being genuine.
People do have other obligations. If a popular girl declines your invitation to get coffee, she may genuinely be busy. Don’t use this setback as a reason to retreat back into your shell. Remember, there is a lot you do not know about other people. Anyone you talk to has a litany of obligations and issues you do not know about. If someone says “No,” that person may be shy or busy. Take rejection as a minor setback. You can try asking someone to hang out in a few weeks if they say “No” the first time. Remember that you don’t have to be popular with every single person to really stand out.
You can find people with common interests by joining a club that personally shows your passions. If you’re interested in journalism, for example, joining the newspaper club can help. If you’re focusing on popularity, you may want to see what kinds of clubs the popular kids are joining. If the most popular boys and girls in school are all in the debate club, this may be a great place to meet popular students. The activities of the club itself won’t make you popular. Rather, what will make you popular is the fact you enjoy doing the club’s activities and this enthusiasm rubs off on others because you own it, like it, and want to share the enjoyment with other people. Maybe start a club if one doesn’t exist already in what interests you. This is a brave, bold and risky move that will get you noticed for all the right reasons, as you’re doing something different and enthusing others to join in.
Train if you’re unfamiliar with a certain sport. If you want to join the basketball team, for example, practice shooting hoops at a local park. You may have to get in shape to join certain clubs. Make sure you start small when it comes to getting in shape, as you don’t want to overexert yourself. Start with small exercise sessions and work your way up. Do not get too discouraged if you don’t make a school sport’s team. Remember that you can always try out again next year. It is also important to stay in shape if you’re willing to get better for next year’s try-outs. What matters is to try your very best as it’s always a chance to get to know more people.
Make sure you learn the rules and regulations for running for student council. You may have to get your parents’ or guardians’ signatures and sign up by a certain deadline. Think of a great campaign slogan and plaster it on decorative poster boards. Put up your posters throughout the school. Write a great campaign speech for your chosen position, clearly laying out what you’ll bring to the job. Leadership skills can help to make you more popular, when exercised with care and consideration for others. Leadership skills can help you stand out from the crowd.
If you’re shy, try to get a small group of existing friends to attend such events with you. However, be sure not to just hang out with your own crowd. You’ll want to branch out and talk to new people. Increasing your friend’s circle can help you gain popularity. Do not be shy. It can be intimidating to meet others, but school events often make striking up a conversation easier. This is especially true for sporting events, where there may be a sense of camaraderie based on cheering for the same team.
Try to go with trends that you personally enjoy. If you’re wearing something you hate, you won’t feel confident in it. This can make you less likely to socialize. If you hate leggings, do not follow the legging trend in your school. If you notice a lot of popular girls wear boots, and you love your pair of black lace-up boots, this could be a great trend for you to follow. Try to keep up with trends and wear trendy clothing. Right now stores like Hollister, A&F, Brandy Melville, Forever 21, PacSun, and Aeropostale are all good places to shop at. But also have unique quirky things to change things up a bit. You may want to change up your hair and makeup. You can go to the makeup counter at a local beauty salon and ask for an attractive every day makeup look. Ask a stylist at a salon what would be a flattering hairstyle for you. Makeup and hair that works well for your features can bolster your confidence and, in turn, increase your popularity.
When people talk to you, make an effort to smile during the conversation. When introducing yourself to new people, flash a smile at them and make eye contact.
Try to show people you are happy to see them. If appropriate, give a friend a hug or a pat on the shoulder when meeting up with them in public. Show genuine enthusiasm when around others. Smile and laugh during conversation. Be kind to everyone. Ask the girl in geometry how her day is going. Make conversation with the boy that sits by himself. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say. If you are kind to everyone, people will like you. You would rather be the girl that is popular because she is well-liked rather than the girl that is popular because she rules by fear. Be open with new people. Strike up a conversation between classes. Sit at a new lunch table. Introduce yourself in a friendly fashion in an effort to get to know new people and make new friends.
Ask questions to learn about others. Ask about other people’s interests and passions. Ask something like, “What’s your earliest memory?” or “What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?” This can be a great technique at parties. You’ll be able to hold down a conversation for a while by asking questions, as people enjoy talking about themselves. You can really get to know someone by asking a lot of questions.
Give people space to speak. When someone finishes a sentence, wait 5 to 10 seconds to make sure they’re truly done speaking. Try to balance talking and listening.
Help others with their homework, with making introductions, with small things you can do for them with ease. Be that one student who raises their hand in class and asks the question everyone else wants the answer to but is too fearful to ask! While being helpful is great to make new friends, avoid getting taken advantage of. If someone is constantly asking you for favors, it’s okay to establish boundaries. Be certain that nobody is using you. If friends are not helpful to you in return, you may be better off with such people out of your life. If someone borrows money from you and they owe you, remind them. If they don’t return the money, tell them off.
Remember that you won’t be universally popular but you can always be likable, stand out and be a leader among your peers.
Back out of a situation when you become uncomfortable. Find a way to excuse yourself from a party or even if you get nervous. You can try making up a quick excuse if you do not want to get into a confrontation in the moment. For example, say something like, “Sorry, but I should get going. I’m coming down with a really bad headache. " Be brave. Stand up for what you believe matters, speak up for what you need and not what others want to push you into.
If you’re going to a party where there may be alcohol or drugs served, plan what to do in the event you’re pressured to partake. You can have a trusted friend on call who can help get you out of this situation.
It can be very hard to try to resist negative peer pressure, but remember the benefits. You’ll feel better about yourself and you may influence other peers to resist things like bullying and gossip as well.
