It is interesting that it says, “A wife of noble character who can find?” meaning that it is very rare. But if you are such a wife, you are worth far more than rubies! That is some incentive to become a wife of rare quality, yes? If you are worth far more than rubies, then you are highly prized. That is always a good thing when it comes to marriage. Why does her spouse have confidence in her? Because she causes good, not harm; she is a good person. Her spouse knows that she won’t cheat or abandon the family, because she has integrity. She will work hard, show her love, and talk about problems when they arise instead of hiding them. Contrast this with another verse in Proverbs, “[It is] better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. " (Proverbs 21:9) Don’t pick fights. Bring up problems respectfully, without taking out your frustrations on your spouse. Obviously, if you try to fight with your partner all the time, that would cause harm and not good. So seek to address problems respectfully and constructively.
The modern equivalent would mean working hard on whatever your job for the family is. Depending on the division of labor in your family, you may have a career and/or chores at home. Stay on top of your responsibilities. Don’t let work pile up. Ask for help if you need it. It is interesting that it says, “She gets up while it is still night. " This is a reality for any mother with small children already, but the idea is to selflessly help your family as much as you can. Do what you can to meet the needs of your family, especially any children who can’t care for themselves yet. Of course, you still need to make sure you’re getting enough rest; you’re not helpful to anyone if you’re physically or emotionally exhausted. Talk to your spouse about what to do if you feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities. You may need to re-allocate the work, or even hire help with cooking and cleaning. Problem solve together on how you can ensure that the work gets done without exhausting anyone.
You may not literally plant a vineyard, but you can make money in other ways. Write, make jewelry, tutor, or find another way to make extra money if you can. You can also learn about the stock market and buy some index funds for long-term gain. There is a comical quote that says, “Lucky is the man who can make more than his wife spends. " But seriously, don’t overspend. Divorce is often caused by arguments over money. Think before you spend. Big purchases should only be made if both spouses agree. Verse 27 says she “does not eat the bread of idleness. " Don’t waste your time and be idle, doing nothing. There are plenty of jobs that you can do from home, if you are a stay at home mom, such as telemarketing, sewing, writing, and graphic design. You could even make a little extra income by selling stuff you no longer need or want (like toys your kids have outgrown, books and DVDs you’ve already read, electronics you’ve replaced, etc. ) on eBay. Try to make good use of your time and be productive.
Some say that motherhood is the most thankless job because you never get a promotion or public recognition. You just do all your tasks humbly and quietly. This is why some women get frustrated about the work they have to do. Always remember, you are working unto God. God will reward you for what you do, don’t worry. Jesus said in Matthew 6:19, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. " There may not be many rewards in this life, but you are building treasures in heaven with everything you do for your family. 1 Cor. 3:14-15 says, “If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames. " Whatever we build on the foundation of Jesus in our lives is what we will be rewarded for in heaven, even if it doesn’t last. Every selfless deed, every act of love, we will be rewarded for in heaven someday. Of course, knowing that God will reward you doesn’t mean you should suffer in silence. It’s okay to say “Sometimes I feel unappreciated” or “I get overwhelmed at times and I need more help around the house. " Be assertive if things aren’t going well.
Try donating money and old clothes to charity. Try volunteering at a food kitchen, tutoring center for disadvantaged students, homeless shelter, animal shelter, hospital, or other place dedicated to helping people in need. Avoid judging people who are in bad situations, even if they made mistakes. Instead, ask them how you can help. Vote mindfully. Never vote for politicians who would disenfranchise the oppressed.
Know the difference between gossiping and asking for advice. Criticizing your spouse is bad. Confidentially asking for help solving a marital issue can be all right. There is a big difference between saying “My husband is so selfish” and “How do I approach my husband about my frustration with this issue?” Of course, this does not apply if you have an abusive spouse. Do not lie to protect the reputation of a cruel man. Tell other people what is happening, and ask them to help you. Your safety, and the safety of your children (if you have any) comes first.
When someone is upset, validate their feelings and listen closely to their sorrows. This can make them feel much better.
If they call you names or disrespect you, nip it in the bud. Say “You may not talk to me that way” or “I’m leaving. Come back when you can speak to me respectfully. " People tend to show respect for people who show respect from them. Treat your family respectfully, without losing control of your temper or calling names. (Take a break if necessary. ) Avoid harsh punishments, and discipline fairly and compassionately.
Say how you feel. It’s okay to say “I’m overwhelmed” or “I’ve taken on more than I can handle. " Reach out to others for assistance and advice.
