The first time you contact your crush as their Secret Admirer, you want to make it clear what your purpose is. Pick out a Valentine’s day card or when making your own use reds and pinks to accentuate the romantic theme.

Don’t talk about yourself. This is their time to shine and you’re making that happen by telling them why you think they’re so special. Don’t simply say “I like your hair” or other generic platitudes. You want to be sincere, unique, and specific.

If you normally write in print, then try writing in cursive. Or vice versa if you usually write everything in cursive. If you’re worried that your handwriting is illegible and your message will be lost, then use a computer to type your message and pick a fun font.

Obviously you don’t want to use your real name. Instead, pick a fun pseudonym like the classic “Secret Admirer” or “Your Valentine’s Day Cupid. ” Make sure you are comfortable with revealing yourself to your crush if you want to use your real name. If you use your real name then you’re only an admirer and not a secret one.

Don’t get too personal. Jewelry, lingerie, expensive items, or photos are better for when you’re dating this person, not when you’re trying to get a relationship started. [3] X Research source

Timing is everything. You can either start leaving notes and gifts for your crush leading up to Valentine’s Day or you could use the whole holiday to lavish them with gifts and messages throughout the day. If you choose to start wooing your crush before V-Day, keep your displays of affection to one a day so that you don’t spook your crush.

Start by slipping your crush a note with the first clue. Write clues that aren’t so vague that they can’t figure them out and leave them in relatively nearby places. You don’t want your crush running town all day so try and keep things within your school or neighborhood. With each clue, leave a small gift like a flowers or chocolates. Leave the biggest gift or most personal gesture for the end. Their excitement will build during the hunt and you want to save the biggest surprise for the grand finale.

Listen to what they’ve been saying about their secret admirer. If it sounds like they’re excited to find out who it is, then it’s time to reveal yourself. If they don’t seem interested, you may want to stop. You can’t control another person’s feelings and you should be respectful if they’re feeling creeped out.

Be careful when talking with friends and family or your crush. If your crush starts to ask around trying to find out your identity, a friend might accidentally slip up. For example, they could comment that you’ve been asking about your crush a lot and then your cover would be blown. It may be better to tell the people you’re surveying that you’re going to be your crush’s secret admirer if you think they can keep a secret. That way, you have someone on the inside who can help you out.