Make a list of things you admire about yourself, your strengths, and achievements on a sheet of paper. Turn a blank sheet of paper horizontally and either fold into thirds or simply draw two vertical lines to create three columns. In each column, write at least five things you like about yourself, at least five things you feel you’re great at, and at least five things you’re proud to have achieved. Do you think you have a great smile? Do you have a knack for making people laugh when they’re feeling down? Are you proud of the evening you spent feeding the homeless? Write down whatever comes to mind. Read over your list often as a reminder of how great you are. Think positively about yourself. Pinpoint a couple qualities about yourself (maybe some that you wrote down in your list) and think about them often. Another tip: take those negative thoughts and reverse them. If you’re thinking, “I hate the way I look,” you could say: “My eyes are really pretty. ”[2] X Research source Use affirmations to boost your confidence. Call a friend or somebody who is super supportive and get positive reinforcement from them. Dress to feel better about yourself. If you feel your wardrobe doesn’t reflect the real you or make you happy, find clothes that do. If you have a favorite top, find more tops with similar qualities. Choose clothing that enhances the physical features you admire. If you have a great pair of legs, put on a pair of shorts or find a dress that lets you show them off. Part Two on how to look like a tough girl will show you how to update your wardrobe to reflect your new tough girl persona. Exercise regularly. Go walking or jogging daily. Take up a sport or participate in a group exercise you might enjoy. While this will help you feel better about yourself, it will also help you feel tougher as your muscles grow.
Take notice of how you act around your significant other. Do you find yourself mostly doing activities, watching certain movies, or eating meals that appeal only to your sweetheart? If so, you need to toughen up and take a more assertive role as a partner. To be tougher in your relationship, start by speaking up about what you like. If you’d prefer to a nice hearty burger instead of sushi, let your significant other know. If you want to watch a romantic comedy instead of a thriller, suggest watching your preferred movie one night and your significant other’s the next. Healthy relationships have balance. Allow equal time for your significant other and you to explore both of your interests together. If you have a disagreement, don’t think you need to scream and shout just to stand up for what you believe. Let your significant know that you acknowledge his or her feelings or point of view, and then be honest and open about your feelings and needs. State your opinion directly, without being apologetic.
The color black is a primary color in the tough girls’ wardrobe. So consider wearing all-black outfits or outfits in which a primary piece is black. Wear ripped denim, and clothing with a skull and bones theme. As long as you have a parents or guardians permission. Pick out ripped denim and clothing with a skull and bones theme. If you don’t already own these two items, make sure you purchase a motorcycle jacket and a nice pair of leather boots. Incorporate tough-girl accessories. Accessories will help pull your outfit together, and help emphasize your tough-girl image. Spikes are a common accessory that can be found on bracelets, rings, or parts of your clothing, like the collar of a blouse or the sleeves of a jacket. You can also look for jewelry with the skull and bones image. Pick up a pair of dark sunglasses to toughen up your look. Hiding your eyes will make you seem mysterious and unapproachable.
There are two ways to be assertive – through your body language and by what you say. To show your assertiveness towards someone: face them directly, keeping your back straight, and look them straight in the eye. Remain calm, but firm when you speak. Make sure whatever you say is direct and honest. State your point of view without being hesitant and without being apologetic. To sound tough, start off by saying to someone “Listen. . . ” Speak strongly and get right to the point. And then at the end say “You understand me?” and wait for their response.
If you’re with a group of friends, move to the front of the pack, so people know you’re the leader and the one they’ll have to deal with. If you and your friends are getting picked on or treated unfairly, speak up. Stand your ground by standing in their way or getting in their personal space. You can do this without expecting things to suddenly get physical. At about a foot and a half from someone you’re considered to be in their personal space. Once you get close, speak firmly. [5] X Research source
Lift weights to tone your body and build muscle mass. Join a self-defense class like kickboxing or martial arts. While you’ll not only learn how to better protect yourself, you may also gain a new group of tough-girl friends. Participate in a contact sport, like flag football, roller derby, or soccer. Participate in activities that force you to push yourself. Being tough is about being able to handle what comes your way, and being able to hang in there even when you’re outside of your comfort zone. Marathons are a great way to do this. Join 5K marathon, if you’re just starting out. If you’re daring, or looking for something more adventurous, look for a themed marathon. The Dirty Girl Mud Run is a good example.
