Sexual attraction is wanting to have sexual contact or do sexual activities with a person. Ace people typically do not experience this at all, or experience it to a lesser degree than allosexuals. Romantic attraction is feeling romantically attracted to someone. Some describe it as wanting to go on a date or do what they consider romantic things with that person. Alterous attraction is feeling attracted to a person in a way that is a mix of platonic and romantic, or something different. Aesthetic attraction is finding someone visually appealing to look at. Sensual attraction is wanting to do physical things with people. While these acts are not necessarily romantic or sexual, they can be. Platonic attraction is being attracted to someone in a friend-like way, wanting to become friends with them. The key of all of these types of attraction is that they can overlap, you do not have to be certain of your orientation in each of them, and that behavior does not dictate orientation.
Don’t be afraid to question your identity for a while, or reject labels for your identity altogether. Some people take a while to figure out their sexual orientation, and that is perfectly okay. Even self-describing with the term “questioning” can connect you to a community of people who are unsure of or exploring their orientation.
“Hey, I want to talk to you about something important to me. Is that okay? Here, let’s sit down. I wanted to let you know, because you’re very important to me, that I’m asexual. "
Provide resources. Having some extra information available, especially for parents and significant others, is a good idea (since they are more likely to be confused or concerned). You can print some information for them or send them digital resources. Ask them if they want more information before offering these, however. Pushing information on someone who is having trouble accepting your confession may cause greater tension.
Even if you are both asexual, it’s probably a good idea to discuss your ideas about relationships. Different asexual people will have different ideas about what they are and aren’t comfortable with and what they do and don’t need.
