Understand that if someone is making comments about your body or your clothes, they must have something going on. They are probably insecure about their own clothes or body, or maybe they’re insecure about something else and this is the only area where they feel dominant. [1] X Research source Don’t let anyone bully or intimidate you in the locker room. If someone says something mean, report them. If another girl is talking about you or other girls in a way that makes you uncomfortable, ask to be moved to a different part of the locker room.
Remind yourself where you got your things. If your parents bought them for you, give silent thanks for their hard work and love. If it’s a hand me down, take pride in your family’s thrift. If you paid for them yourself, take a moment to feel proud of your ability to contribute. If someone says something critical of your possessions, say “You know what? I like this. My mother bought it for me, and I love her. Plus, it gets the job done. "
You’ll keep changing as you grow. Don’t think that this moment will last forever. Some differences will remain, but you’ll feel differently about them as you age. For now, remind yourself that you are perfect, and anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise has a problem.
Practice seeing something lovely about everyone you look at. Remind yourself that everyone is beautiful. Beauty standards are arbitrary and always changing. They have nothing to do with the beauty of an individual.
Remind yourself of your values. Look in the mirror when you get into the locker room and think of something that is important to you. Think “It’s important to me that I get through the day without losing my temper, because I’m learning self-control,” or “I’m a good friend and my friends are good to me. "
If you feel ugly and worthless, ask yourself questions instead of making positive statements. If you have a negative thought, ask it as a detailed question instead. Instead of saying “I look shabby,” ask “Am I shabbily dressed?” Then come up with a reasonable answer, the kind a friend might give you. You may answer “I am wearing an old shirt, but I look tidy altogether. "
If you get to keep your locker day to day, decorate it! Put up some magnets, posters or pictures.
You may find that dressing this way makes you feel more self-conscious. In that case, just change quickly and don’t worry about being seen. Try starting with this method and gradually weaning yourself off it as you grow more confident.
If you don’t yet wear bras, you might like a training bra, sports bra, or undershirt. [4] X Research source Consider underwear that covers more, like boyshorts. Go for stylish underwear that makes you feel “dressed” even when you’re not! Consider underwear with your favorite cartoon characters, or in fun patterns. If your underwear is awesome, you may feel more confident.
You can buy underwear with built in pads that absorb your period from brands such as Thinx or Luna. Consider using tampons or a menstrual cup instead of pads if you’re worried about pads showing.
Initiate conversation while everyone is still clothed! They may be shy about talking while dressing. Once you know each other better, you can chat while you change.
Say how you feel silently to yourself: “I am nervous because I have to change in the locker room. " Accept that you feel nervous. Try taking a deep breath and then counting down from 10 to 0. Think your own name and give yourself a command. Say “Devon, you’re nervous, but you’re fine. Put your dang shorts on. "
If you have PTSD from a related traumatic experience. If you are being badly bullied by one or more of your classmates. If you have a physical difference that you really want to keep private, such as a difference of sex development or gender expression. If there is someone you feel uncomfortable around who changes in the locker room. [7] X Research source
If anyone touches you or makes a comment about your body, your sexual orientation, or your sexual activity while you’re changing, that’s sexual harassment. [8] X Research source If they continue to harass you, ask that their locker be moved to another side of the locker room. Report to the principal if the harassment continues or if your gym teacher is not helpful.
