Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you’re presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. Dress for confidence. You don’t have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you’re clean, comfortable, and feel good, you’re set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear! Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance. After all, you wouldn’t wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.
You won’t only fool everyone else – you’ll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way – so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [1] X Research source
If you’re worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you’re genuinely happy to see them – or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills – flash those pearly white teeth.
Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you’ll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. [2] X Research source If you can’t do it for you, do it for them!
Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you’re telling the world that you’re not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands – if it’s clear you’re preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint. Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture. [3] X Research source
wikiHow isn’t advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile. You’re off the hook.
Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven’t noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they’ve remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations. Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go! Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one’s perfect, but if you’re actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you’re humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes. Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you’re feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.
Here’s an example: You didn’t get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you’re not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.
Here’s a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don’t have to be perfect all the time. Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don’t have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can’t completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.
Odds are you won’t really realize you’re confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don’t see immediate changes, know that it’s just because you’re too close to the painting. Can’t see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.
Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It’s there, it’s just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don’t matter. They have nothing to do with you. “You” is good. “You” exists apart from any other judgment.
So much of the world exists outside your head (if we’re going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what’s in front of you – there’s probably something exciting about it.
Don’t get discouraged if you’re not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you’re in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever. Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.
No, that won’t creep strangers out unless you’re a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, “Hey!”, smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. [7] X Research source You’re just brightening up their otherwise dull day. You don’t have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?
Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you’re worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say “I hope this hasn’t been too much trouble” instead of automatically reverting to “I’m sorry. " Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn’t make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you’re sorry for nothing. Think of “I’m sorry” like “I love you. " It should only be said with care.
Pay a compliment in return. If you’re still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you’ve accepted. This can help you feel like the score is “even” and you haven’t been too prideful.
Lots of people aren’t good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they’ll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically – “Hey, I really like that shirt you’re wearing. Was it made in China?” might not get the best response.
It’s important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you’re the best version of you there could possibly be. It’s only around these people that you’ll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.
Point number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we’re cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren’t rocket science, luckily. Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high – that’s you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.
Right now you’re probably saying, “I’m no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn’t logical – weren’t you just pushing logic a second ago?!” Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They’re both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other. Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn’t matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It’s the getting back up that builds confidence, and you’ve got to fail in the first place to do so. [10] X Expert Source Nicolette Tura, MAAuthentic Living Expert Expert Interview. 23 January 2020. Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.
