Friendships are great but don’t act like you’ll pass if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Getting some alone time is great, too. Keeping yourself hidden can also allow you to focus on yourself and not what others think, which is a key factor to being calm. [2] X Research source If someone hasn’t called you back, lay off. There’s no need to follow up with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they’ll respect you a lot more.
If you don’t let people see the real you, then what’s the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all. Own your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don’t apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don’t like it about yourself. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world. However, don’t be overconfident, or you will come off as braggy and self-centered. [4] X Research source Write a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
If you don’t let people see the real you, then what’s the point? Being able to be yourself and to have people appreciate you is the coolest thing of all. Own your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your looks, your voice; anything which belongs to you. Own it and don’t apologize for what you belong to you to anyone even if it is bad or you don’t like it about yourself. Remember we are all humans and we try accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world. However, don’t be overconfident, or you will come off as braggy and self-centered. [4] X Research source Write a list of all the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
Self-disclosure happens slowly. Don’t tell the first person you meet at a party all about your personal life or things will quickly go south. “Hiding information about yourself makes you look super cool. " - Sasuke Uchiha
If you’re too eager to hang out with a new person, then it might look like you don’t have any other friends. If you act sociable and confident no matter who you talk to at the party, then you’ll definitely stand out and look like you’re one of the most popular people there. You can always give someone a simple but sincere compliment so you immediately leave a positive first impression. For example, tell them you love their outfit.
Be a good listener. Try to make the other person feel important, but only if you can genuinely. False enthusiasm will just appear sarcastic. When you listen to people, it not only makes them feel good about themselves but also about you. If you’re stuck, remember the golden rule. [6] X Research source Most people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you. Wait for the right moment to make a comment. If you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with other people. Making fun of people is fine as long as you know your limits. Different people have different tolerance levels, so be sure that the people you around know you’re kidding.
However, it is equally important not to hold back any strong emotions. You should let go of petty things in life, but if you are going through a hard time, don’t be afraid to seek the help you need. [7] X Research source Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn’t mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they’ll like you for being human, just like them. You can be [[Be Cool}cool]] and you can be too cool. People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at a goofy, obviously silly but funny joke. Don’t be that person.
Say what you really feel and share your unique perspectives. As long as you’re polite and genuine, people will respect that you take the initiative to say what’s on your mind and that you keep the conversation going.
Oftentimes, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don’t try but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place. Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don’t lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm.
You should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn’t like you for who you are and the lifestyle you’ve chosen, move on. Don’t do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol. Don’t smoke. It won’t make you cool—it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won’t notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won’t want to be around you. Don’t judge smokers- just don’t take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit. Avoid arguing. When you’re cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you’re right you just know it. You don’t need to waste time, effort, and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn’t seen the things you have seen.
Be a person of action, not a person of ideas. Of course, thinking things through before jumping the gun is a great trait. But thinking things through and then not doing anything won’t get you anywhere.
When someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn’t hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn’t show respect towards you or the person didn’t do what you asked of them. People may be rude to you because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.
Senses of humor vary wildly. If you’re getting blank looks, just be polite, excuse yourself, and chronicle any embarrassments later in a stand-up comedy routine.
Remember that it’s not cool to hang out with people who you think are cool just because you think it’ll make you cool by proxy. Life doesn’t work that way.
The important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness; just ignore them. Not as if you didn’t hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.
Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; a lot of people analyze your body language and get a sense of who you are. For example, if you stand at the center of the room and hold your head up high, everyone will definitely see you as confident. Knowing how you come off during school, during a soccer match, or at a party can help you have a sense of what people think of you, and to adjust your actions accordingly. It doesn’t mean that you have to change for you are, but if you’re at a party, it’s good to notice if you’re completely dominating a conversation and even boring people so you can back off a bit.
If you’re nervous or anxious, other people will be able to tell, and they will feed off of your nervous energy, creating even more anxiety. Instead, be calm and make people feel like they are calmer in your presence and they will be drawn to you. It’s okay to freak out to a trusted friend if you need to once in a while. Just don’t get a reputation for being a person who is always freaking out.
Smile. Be a habitual, unrepentant over-smiler, with every grin being a genuine one. If you smile when you meet someone, you instantly appear confident, friendly, and relaxed. Confident, friendly, relaxed people are much more appealing than their uptight compadres.
Know that you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don’t be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.
You don’t have to spend hours on your looks each day to be cool. But hey, 20–30 minutes spent showering and grooming won’t kill you.
You don’t have to follow trends to be cool; you just have to be able to look comfortable and happy in whatever you are wearing.
