As an example, if you struggle with negative self talk (those voices in your head that tell you you’re a loser, worthless, stupid etc. ), work on countering that with positive affirmations such as “I am thoughtful” or “I am a good friend”. When you’re confident, you don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and you don’t talk down to yourself. Confident people are able to celebrate the success of others, without feeling jealous or bad about themselves.
If you’re nervous and unsure of what to say, a great way to connect with someone is to ask them questions. In particular, asking someone for advice about something, or encouraging them to talk about themselves, is a great way to get them to like you. [3] X Research source If you are relaxed and focused during your time with others, they will be more likely to enjoy your company and seek it out again.
Don’t interrupt or judge the person who is talking. Nod your head or give short verbal signs (“yes”, “mm hmm”) that show you acknowledge what the person is saying. Paraphrase what they’ve said so that they know you’ve understood. Ask questions to signal you’ve paid attention and are interested.
You want him to like you for who you are, not for who you think he wants you to be. He might even appreciate that you have your own ideas and the courage to voice them. For example, if a guy asks what you think of a movie you didn’t like, say what you really think instead of pretending you liked it just because you think he liked it. If nothing else, it’ll lead to an interesting conversation.
When you’re talking to a guy you’re interested in, don’t be afraid to reveal a little about what’s important to you. Don’t forget to ask questions about his interests, too. This will show him that you’re interested in getting to know him better, and could help him feel closer to you. [5] X Research source
In addition, having hobbies will give you more to talk about and more opportunities to bond with your crush, if he shares any of your interests. You might even meet someone through your hobbies.
Studies have shown that if you’re loving, supportive and stable, people are more likely to consider you as a potential mate, so take opportunities to show that you are all of those things. [6] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
If your ideal night is at home with pizza and Netflix, don’t tell your crush you’re a party animal. It will only be exhausting for you, and sad when you inevitably break up because all he wants to do is party and all you want to do is relax. If you love math and want to teach, don’t tell your adventure-seeking crush that your dream job is being a snowboarding teacher at a resort.
The only good reason for changing who you are is if you are unhappy with who you are, and you want to change so that you’re happier with yourself. If being with a certain guy requires you to be someone completely different, you probably shouldn’t be with him.
Men generally like women who appear young and healthy — with good skin, youthful facial features, and trim figures — because on a subconscious level they are evaluating them as possible mates. [8] X Research source
Studies show that other people see you as 20% more attractive than you see yourself. [9] X Research source Too many women judge themselves harshly instead of seeing their own beauty. Maybe you don’t conform to conventional beauty standards, but who are those for, anyway? The beauty standards of today are different from those of the past and will continue to shift through time. [10] X Research source
If you’re unsure of what your style is, seek inspiration in fashion icons and the people you look up to. It’s okay to experiment with different looks — it doesn’t mean you’re trying to be someone else, it’s about exploring how you express yourself. Play around with accessories, styles and colors you wouldn’t normally choose. If they feel good, wear them out; if they make you feel like you’re playing dress-up, keep experimenting.
Find ways to make your best features stand out by choosing certain clothes, accessories and makeup that accentuate them. [12] X Expert Source Chloée Ohayon-CrosbyCostume Designer & Wardrobe Specialist Expert Interview. 24 July 2020. For example, if you have really pretty dark eyes, wearing gold hoop earrings might draw more attention to them. Or, if you love your long, slender neck, you could wear V-neck tops or get a shoulder-length haircut that draws the eye to your neck.
If you’re not big on makeup but you’d like to try it out, you can start by keeping a natural look and just giving your face a healthy glow. You might top it off with some mascara and a natural-looking lip gloss. Ultimately it’s most important to do what feels good to you. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t do it. Make sure what you’re doing to your face and body is what you want to do, also. Don’t change the way you look just because you think a certain guy will like it more that way.
If you’re not big on makeup but you’d like to try it out, you can start by keeping a natural look and just giving your face a healthy glow. You might top it off with some mascara and a natural-looking lip gloss. Ultimately it’s most important to do what feels good to you. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t do it. Make sure what you’re doing to your face and body is what you want to do, also. Don’t change the way you look just because you think a certain guy will like it more that way.
Studies have shown that men prefer women with childlike faces — big eyes, small noses, full lips, and a small chin. [16] X Research source You can use mascara and lip plumper to make your eyes look wide and your lips look full. If you want to go further, try using some contouring powder to make your face look more youthful and symmetrical. [17] X Research source
A common belief is that a full, red lip mimics widened blood vessels during arousal, leading men to think about getting intimate. [19] X Research source
Ultimately you need to be yourself. Men will be most attached to a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin (and voice), but it’s an interesting fact worth knowing. (The study also showed that women prefer men with deeper voices. )[21] X Research source
You can achieve an hourglass shape through exercises that build your bum and hips, and tighten your waist; certain styles of clothing; and/or by using a waist cincher, which is also known as waist training. [23] X Research source Note that in some countries, a larger, rounder flame is considered more attractive as it signifies access to food and money. [24] X Research source
It may seem counterintuitive, as you may feel like hanging out with girls who are prettier than you will make you seem uglier, but it’s the opposite — you’ll all look more attractive. [25] X Research source
If you’re trying to attract a man you’ll likely read all sorts of article that tell you what men like, and it will often be things that you don’t have. Research has proven that personality is more important than physical appearance, which is why it’s so important to be happy and comfortable in your own skin. [26] X Research source
Exercising does more than keep your body healthy. It keeps your mind healthy too!
A 150-pound woman should drink between 75 and 150 ounces of water each day depending on her level of activity and where she lives.
It’s possible to hide a bad night’s sleep with a good concealer. Get one that closely matches your skin type and use it to cover up any dark under-eye circles. Precede it with an eye cream if you need help with puffiness. If you regularly don’t get enough sleep, consider seeing a doctor to see what the problem may be.
When you get out of the shower, apply a body moisturizer to keep all of your skin feeling smooth and soft.
Straight, white teeth are a sign of good genetics and on a primal level attract men. [28] X Research source If you don’t have white teeth, don’t fret! It’s totally normal. If your teeth are healthy but just a bit stained, clean them up with a whitening toothpaste, or consult your doctor about a whitening treatment.
More important than tailoring your hair (or anything for that matter) to getting a guy is wearing your hair in a look that complements your facial shape and your personal style. Above all else, you need to feel good about how you look. If you do want to experiment with longer hair, consider trying clip-in hair extensions, which can be purchased at salons and beauty supply shops. If your hair is very short, you might try a wig instead. Avoid dyeing, straightening, or otherwise over-processing your hair, as frizzy, damaged hair is unattractive.
You’ll also be more likely to meet men who share your interests and have fun doing the same things you love. For example, if you love playing softball, join a co-ed softball team. You’re at your most attractive when you’re relaxed and having fun, so be good at what you do, but don’t take it so seriously that you get angry or mean!
A common practice is to look into his eyes and then smile briefly before looking away. Do this a few times over 20 minutes or so, and if he’s interested, he’ll likely approach you. If you’re already talking to him, make eye contact at special points in the conversation, like while you’re giving him a compliment. Once in a while, hold his eyes just a little longer than normal to suggest that something deeper is going on. Don’t linger for too long, or it could get intense and weird. Keep things subtle in the beginning.
Laugh if he says something you think is funny, but make sure it’s not forced. A very powerful flirtation technique is to smile and make eye contact at the same time. You can tailor your smile to the occasion — a brief shy smile to get him interested, or maybe a longer mischievous grin once you’re already talking, to let him know you’re interested too.
Be sure to keep things light-hearted. If you’ve just seen a movie or a concert, talk about that. If you’re sharing a class, ask how he’s enjoying it. As you converse, see if you can gauge his interest. If he returns eye contact, asks you questions and seems engaged, keep up the conversation and see where things go. If he doesn’t seem interested, don’t push it. Just tell him it was nice to meet him, politely excuse yourself, and start talking with a friend or someone else.
If he looks good in a specific shirt, tell him. If he changes his hair, let him know you’ve noticed and that you like it. Compliments will not only make him feel good; they’ll hint to him that you like him. [32] X Research source
Schedule the date for a few days later so you both have some time to think about it and get ready. If you’re not quite ready to go on the date, you could just get his number or give him yours.
As an example, if he runs his hand through his hair, wait a minute or two then casually do the same, with your other hand though. Make sure it looks unintentional. You don’t want to seem like a creepy copier (which you kind of are!). [34] X Research source
