Distract him by going out for pizza if he’s had a difficult day. Help him move or pack when he needs it. Check-in occasionally to ask how he’s doing if you live far away from each other. Help him brainstorm solutions to any problems he’s having, like how to deal with a difficult boss or professor. Introduce him to your other friends or people he could date.
Avoid complimenting his physical appearance to avoid awkwardness, confusion, or mixed signals. Show your appreciation or gratitude. You could say, “Thank you so much for listening to me about that problem at school. Your point of view was really helpful!” Build up his strength when he is having difficulty. Don’t be fake or invalidate his feelings or experience, but do be honest that you think well of him and believe in him. You might say, “I hear that it’s tough for you right now. That really sucks. But just know that you’re strong and I think you’re going to make it through this. "
Avoid touching your friend’s arms or face. Avoid lingering hugs with full body contact. Don’t give your friend massages or shoulder rubs. Avoid cuddling or putting your arm around your friend. Realize that some people may be flirty without realizing it.
If you’re married or dating someone else, avoid sharing secrets or talking about intimate things with this friend that you wouldn’t share with your spouse or partner, too. If you regularly travel with your friend for leisure or work, avoid sharing hotel rooms, sharing romantic meals, and drinking too much alcohol together. If you work with your friend, keep it light while you’re at work. Don’t seek comfort about issues with your spouse or partner while at work. [6] X Research source If you’re single, don’t create a “friends with benefits” situation. Sex complicates friendships, particularly if one person is hoping it will turn into a relationship. [7] X Research source
Your male friend can give you perspectives and insights you might not get from female friends. Your male friend can meet your needs of belonging and connection. Your male friend may provide you the freedom to not talk about feelings as much as you might with your female friends. You may also give your male friend a safer space to share feelings if he wants to.
Acknowledge that it’s easy to confuse feelings of being close to and loving a friend with thinking you may be romantically interested. [10] X Research source The lines can be easily blurred. Ask him directly how he feels, particularly if you’ve noticed any interest or flirting on his part. You may say, “I really value our friendship and enjoy your company. I only want us to be friends, but I’m worried you’re feeling differently. How do you feel about that?”
Acknowledge your friend’s feelings and thank him for being vulnerable. You can say, “It sounds like you’re interested in me and I really appreciate your honesty about that. ” Make your point gently and clearly about wanting to stay just friends. You can say, “I like you as a friend and want to keep our friendship the way it is. ”
You could say, “I know this is awkward, but we’ve been friends for a long time. You’re an awesome guy and I know we’ll bounce back from this. ” Keep in mind to give him time if he needs it. If he was truly interested in you, he may need some time and space to process the rejection.
Do not entertain rumors from other people. Shut down any questions from people about when you’re going to get together or date.
Avoid situations in which you’re inhibited by alcohol with your friend. Pay attention to signals or hints that your male friend wants something more or is waiting for something more. [19] X Research source Notice suggestive language, physical contact, and tune into your own comfort level and gut feelings as an internal signal that things are becoming less friendly and more romantic.
