You can either make her a card or buy one in store. You can also give her a card after she achieves a milestone. Maybe she got all A’s on her report card or got a new job. Let her know you’re proud of her accomplishments.
You can also make her a gift. Handmade gifts can often be even more thoughtful than ones bought in stores. Check out Pinterest for cool DIY gifts. [1] X Research source Don’t buy her a gift to bribe her into being nice, but do so to let her know you’re thinking of her and love her.
You can try other gestures like leaning your head slightly to one side while she is talking to you as well to acknowledge that you are listening to her.
Exercise caution, however, if she has broken or damaged your items consistently in the past. You may only want to let her borrow things that you don’t put much value in if she is careless with your items. If your older sibling takes something of yours, it makes it worse to tell your parents. Try to solve the problem without your parents. If you do this, you might end up getting closer to your sibling. Also, if you have had problems in the past with your sister borrowing things without your permission, have a discussion with her about boundaries. You can say something like “I love you and don’t mind sharing with you, but when you take things without asking, it really bothers me. Can you ask me for permission in the future and I’ll make sure to do the same thing if I want to borrow something of yours?”
Invite her to see a movie or go to the mall with you and your friends. She will likely appreciate the gesture.
Some ways that you can help her include assisting her with her homework if you know the material or helping her clean her room. You can also ask for help from your sibling, but if she doesn’t want to, respect her wishes.
Compromise, as well. If you chose the show for the last 30 minutes, allow her to pick the next show or two.
For example, is your sister very smart or quick witted? Let her know that you think so. You can also compliment her by telling her that she is pretty. But be careful. If you say something untrue to your sister about her looks, she might dress or do the thing you told her she was good at more. You don’t want to give her false information.
One way you can build trust is through sharing secrets with each other. Tell each other one thing that the other doesn’t know and make a pact to keep the secret. Another way to build trust is through honesty. Be honest with your sister about the ways you feel hurt by her and ask her to be honest as well. Being nice to your sister does not mean that you should lie to her. Keep your promises. If you tell your sister that you will do something for her, then do it. Your sister will trust you more if you are dependable and reliable.
You can begin a conversation with your sister by saying something like “how was your day?”; depending upon her answer the conversation may spark from there, but if it doesn’t you can try saying something like “what was the best part about your day?” Consider all of the things you have in common and begin a conversation based around those. If you and your sister both love soccer, consider discussing the latest soccer game or your favorite soccer player with her.
You can try something as exciting as riding a rollercoaster for the first time or something as small as binge watching a new show together. Either way, your relationship will grow. Other ways include cooking, exercising, taking a class together, or going dancing.
Pull out those old photo albums and reflect visually on these memories. You can also pull up photos on your social media accounts.
Apologize for any wrongdoing on your part. After self reflection and an honest evaluation of your relationships, you may discover that you have done some bad in your relationship with your sister, as well. Apologize to her genuinely for any specific things that you may have done.
Try using a talking stick. In some cultures, particularly within certain Native American tribes, the use of a talking stick is employed to have a constructive conversation. The general premise is that you have an item that is held when speaking and only the person holding that item can speak. Once the speaker is finished, the item is transferred and that person speaks uninterrupted while they hold the item. This is a great way to foster communication that is mutually respectful and based around purely listening. Use “I” statements. If your sister has hurt you, don’t resort to name calling or being accusatory. Instead of saying things like “you are mean” say “I feel hurt by what you said”. This is a way of communicating your feelings of hurt or anger while being less threatening.
Do you frown when your sister is speaking? Practice slightly smiling instead. Perhaps you raise your voice a bit to speak to her. Practice using a calmer tone instead.
Your parents have also certainly dealt with conflict resolution before and likely with their own siblings. See what they have done to repair or remedy their own relationships with brothers or sisters.
If you and your sister have mutual friends, speak to them. Similar to your parents, they have a knowledge of both of you. See if they have advice on how to improve your relationship with your sister.
