What would be your ideal birthday present and why? What is the most courageous thing you have ever done? Who do you most admire and why? How would you like to be remembered?
The popular sitcom Seinfeld aired an episode called “The Opposite. ” In this episode, George decides that every decision that he has ever made has been wrong. He concludes that if he did the opposite of his natural instincts, he would get better results. George then decides to do the complete opposite of what he would normally do in every situation. By the end of the show, he goes from being unemployed and living his parents, to getting a job with the New York Yankees organization and being able to get a place of his own.
What am I interested in? What are my hobbies? What are my best subjects in school? In what areas do I excel at my job?
For example, if your friends and family talk about healthcare reform all the time, read a few articles about it and decide what you think. If you can back up your opinion with facts, you will feel even more comfortable expressing yourself.
Wait to speak out until you care about an issue. If you give out opinions or contradictions constantly, you may seem belligerent and annoying. The idea is to make people notice and care about what you think, not to hit them over the head with it.
As with most things, it’s healthiest lying somewhere in the middle. Being outspoken 24/7 shouldn’t be your goal – you should aim to be outspoken when you feel and only when you feel your stance is being underrepresented or needs defending. If it doesn’t, reserve away.
This is important before, during, and after you speak your mind. It’s just as impressive saying, “You know – you’re right. I didn’t think of that,” as it is to bombard someone with a milieu of facts that are inarguable. Many people can go off on an unstoppable rant– fewer can stop and admit they might be wrong.
Being outspoken might sound like this, “I love astronomy and I think we can learn a lot from studying the night sky”. Being rude or opinionated would sound like this, “Anyone who cannot appreciate the night sky is an idiot”.
If you are an avid atheist, a church memorial service for a recently deceased family member is probably not the best place to express your opinion that people who die simply die and don’t go anywhere. Keeping your opinion to yourself in that context is far more tactful.
Sometimes part of being well-spoken is not just speaking in large words. It can be just as effective to be short and to-the-point as long as you are presenting thorough information. For example, saying, “The tuna industry is an abomination. Anyone who eats tuna is being injurious to the ecosystem,” is insufficient. Instead, back up what you’re saying: “The tuna industry is completely unsustainable. It’ll be off the shelves in 10 years if we don’t stop. Humans are completely messing up the circle of life. "
Take cues from your peers, too. If someone is starting to get offended, exasperated, or is displaying any other negative emotion, back off. You can revisit the point later if need be.
Aim to state your opinion once a day, to start. Slowly work your way up to every time you find yourself thinking something pertinent and not saying it. If you go too far, it’ll be easier to draw yourself back. And if anyone asks why the change of heart, be honest! You’re working on being outspoken. That’s all.
The more you do something, the more it becomes comfortable – regardless of what it is. So tomorrow, start. When a thought occurs to you that you could say, say it. That’s all you need to do. Do it once a day until being a vocal part of the team feels less scary. You can beef it up from there.
The odds are that if you’re on this page, you’re not the “I’m right and you’re wrong” kind of person. However, you’re probably going to have to deal with this type of person once you’re the one going against their opinion. Let them know that their one-sided view isn’t conducive to a fun, intellectual debate. There’s no point in arguing with someone like this, so don’t do it!
Try your hardest to make your outspokenness non-judgmental when it comes to people. If you don’t feel like going to a certain movie with your friends, outright say so – but if, say, someone is talking about their struggle with weight loss, be a bit more diplomatic about the topic.
Listening first is so important – maybe your point has already been addressed – or maybe someone had a better one! The only way you can really make sure your outspokenness is fulfilling its purpose is if you listen before you open your mouth. It’ll save you a lot of grief later, too!
