For instance, you might say, “Could you please help me understand why you and your brother aren’t getting along? You seem upset,” or, “Can you tell me why you didn’t tidy up your room?”
Taking a moment to breathe deeply also gives you time to gather your thoughts so you respond calmly. If it relaxes you, repeat a mantra as you take deep breaths. You might say, “This too will pass,” or, “I love my kids. "
Say something like, “Let’s all spend 5 minutes in our own rooms, and then we’ll talk about why you’re frustrated. " If your kids are very small, put them in their crib or playpen, but never leave them unsupervised. You could also ask your partner or another adult to watch the kids while you get a break.
For instance, say, “I’m losing my patience and feeling really frustrated. I’m going to sit down and close my eyes to do some deep breaths. " Simply saying, “Kids, I’m losing my patience,” can also help, since it openly communicates with the kids how you’re feeling and lets them respond to it.
For example, say, “Look, kids, I’m sorry that I yelled. I lost my patience and I didn’t have a good reaction. I’ll try to do better the next time I’m frustrated. " Don’t apologize and then offer an excuse for your behavior. Instead, be accountable for your reaction.
Rules and boundaries help to give children stability and structure which they can rely on. For example, if one of the kids starts hitting the other, say, “There’s no hitting in this house. I’m going to separate you now so you don’t hurt your brother. Then, I’ll come back and we’ll talk about this. "
Rules and boundaries help to give children stability and structure which they can rely on. For example, if one of the kids starts hitting the other, say, “There’s no hitting in this house. I’m going to separate you now so you don’t hurt your brother. Then, I’ll come back and we’ll talk about this. "
For example, maybe your kid wouldn’t get dressed as you were trying to get out the door or they ignored you when you asked them to clean up before company came. In these cases, running late and having guests over contributed to your sense of impatience with your kid. If entertaining at home makes you stressed out, you might meet up with company at a restaurant instead. If hectic mornings make you frustrated, prepare for work or school the night before so you’re not struggling to make it out the door.
Think about how impatient you sometimes get in the car and use this as an opportunity to model patience to your kid. If you’re stuck behind a slow driver, you might say, “Gosh, we’re going really slow. Oh well, at least we’ve got more time to enjoy the scenery. "
If you don’t have a lot of time to schedule fun activities, don’t worry! Make the most of the time you do have, even if it’s just spending a few minutes listening to music together or watching a show with them after you get home from work.
Taking care of yourself also includes spending time with your partner or friends. You might notice you’re more short-tempered when you haven’t spent time away from your kids in a while, so make plans to meet up with other adults every once in a while.
It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes, but redirect your focus to recognize your strengths as a parent. For instance, you might think, “I lost my cool, but I did apologize and we had a good talk. "
