Make a list of your own positive qualities. Be sure to include both internal (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) qualities. Get in the habit of reminding yourself of these positive qualities on a daily basis, and counter each negative thought you have toward yourself with two positive ones. Stop referring to yourself as shy, timid, or antisocial. The more you use these words to label yourself, the more you will reinforce the idea that you are incapable of social interaction! If the idea frightens you, remember that your perception by others depends not on them but on you. If you want to become a more social person, you have to start by actually believing that you are and can be a social person. Remind yourself that being sociable is a choice, not a predisposition. Accept that human nature is good. While there are plenty of bad people out there, it is important to accept that humans can be loving, kind, and accepting creatures. Believing this will make you look forward to meeting new people rather than avoiding it.
Rather than focusing on what may go wrong or how you may embarrass yourself, approach every new social interaction with a clean slate and a positive attitude. When reflecting on past interactions, focus on the positive things rather than the negative ones. Even if it wasn’t the most eventful or exciting interaction of your life, try to identify one good experience from each interaction you have, even if it is as simple as having been able to make somebody laugh.
Remember that people are so caught up in their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself, say something stupid, or don’t look your best. Even if they do notice, it is very unlikely that they will care very much, as they have their own issues to deal with. Recognize that everybody, to some extent or another, feels exactly the same way you do. Even the most social people still feel insecure and worry about embarrassing themselves; the only difference is that they choose to take the risk and enjoy themselves rather than worrying about how others will react.
Get in the habit of striking up casual conversations with the people you meet on a daily basis, including bank tellers, baristas, and cashiers. Spend your free time with friends, when possible. [7] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 14 April 2021. If you are the type of person who spends a lot of time partaking in a certain hobby or physical activity alone, then consider inviting a friend along next time. [8] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 14 April 2021. Always accept social invitations. Avoid making excuses like being too tired, having to wake up early the next day, or feeling unattractive. While some excuses are legitimate, others are simply used to avoid interaction. Learn to differentiate between honest excuses and dishonest ones.
Making your life sound positive will instantly spark peoples’ interest, and they will want to hear more about you.
Avoid constantly checking your phone or looking around you while you are in the middle of a conversation. These types of things come across as rude and suggest that you are uninterested in the person and conversation.
Making eye contact with others and smiling shows them that you are friendly, open, and non-intimidating. Plus, everybody looks more attractive when they smile.
Keep in touch with friends, even if you don’t live in the same town. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a text, or e-mail them asking how they’ve been.
While meeting strangers may seem intimidating, think of it this way: if you don’t know them to begin with, then you really have nothing to lose if things don’t work out. On the other hand, you never know when a stranger can turn into your new best friend, business partner, or love interest!
Remember to not get carried away. For example, do not go as far as stalking the person on social networking sites. Just knowing by how much points did Barcelona won with and the next time they are going to play in a match is enough. Even that person will continue the conversation so you don’t have to worry about reaching a dead end.
