By accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions rather than trying to increase the number of social interactions you have.
How you see yourself is one of the most common factors that influences your confidence. You may think that you’re giving off a negative impression to others in social situations, but you’re probably just looking for anything to confirm your own beliefs.
For example, imagine you’re out and think, “I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I have nothing interesting to say. ” Stop thinking the negative thought and ask yourself what proves that thought without a doubt.
For example, maybe you saw someone make a face, and you thought that they were uninterested in what you were talking about, or you saw someone end a conversation prematurely and run off. Ask yourself if these could be attributed to other things. The person who made the face may not be feeling well or may be uncomfortable in that seat, or may have seen someone he or she was hoping not to run into. The person who rushed out could she have been late for a meeting and forgot to mention it. Or maybe he or she has been stressed and really needed some alone time.
For example, if your friend rushes out, you could text or call her later to see if she’s alright. She’ll most likely appreciate your compassion and understanding.
If a person you’re trying to speak with isn’t responding, that’s on the other person, not you. Shrug it off and move on. There will be someone who you will click with, or at the very least, have enough social skill to engage in pleasant, polite conversation.
For example, maybe you’ve become aware that avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms at social functions makes others uncomfortable.
Sitting up tall and expanding your chest to widen your shoulders. Place your hands on a table or spread one across the back of a chair. Strong body postures with wide stances and open shoulders and arms. A strong hand shake to connect with others and help people remember who you are. [8] X Research source Smiling to show that you are interested and enjoying yourself. [9] X Research source Making eye contact to let others know that you are listening to them. Most people feel comfortable with making eye contact 60% of the time, leaving the rest of the time for breaks in eye contact to avoid staring. [10] X Research source Still posture, avoiding fidgeting or swaying so you don’t look nervous.
Mumbling is hard to hear causing others to think that you don’t want to take part in the conversation or that you’re not interested.
If you notice yourself speeding up or speaking too fast to begin with, take a pause and a breath before continuing.
If you are nervous, it is tempting to pay attention more to yourself, how nervous you are, and how you will respond. But, this can make other people feel as if you don’t really care to hear what they have to say. Avoid the urge to interrupt, which you may feel like doing if you’re nervous. Instead, pause and save it for when the other person has finished speaking. [14] X Research source
You could simply say hello, introduce yourself, or make a comment about a mutual friend, your place of work, or the setting. For example, you could say, “Hi, this is a fantastic location for a party. Have you tried any of the food?”
For example, an introduction could be, “Hi, I’m Jason, Jeff’s friend,” and then have a list of topics you could start a conversation with. Some ideas include mutual friends, how people know each other or met, or asking others about themselves such as what hobbies they have or their career. Ending the conversation can be as simple as, “Ok, it was nice seeing you, and I hope to run into you again. ”
For example, your friend might say, “Greg, this is my friend Carol. We went to school together. " Then, you can let the conversation go on between them or jump in and converse.
For example, if you love to rock climb, you could go to the rock climbing gym, and just strike up a conversation with others that love rock climbing. This way, you have a built-in conversation starter. You could talk about equipment, techniques, trips you’ve taken etc.
