If the party involves food, consider making something delicious that will become your signature dish that people want you to bring every time you attend a party. Sometimes, you might want to stand out by getting a certain person to notice you. If you want to get on the host’s good side, then asking how to help out will probably make you their favorite guest super quickly.
If you arrive alone and don’t know anyone, move towards the center of the room and see if you can start a conversation with anyone, or join any existing conversations. Also make sure to hold your head up high, maintain good posture, and look confident. People who come across as fun and sure of themselves attract a ton of people at parties.
Walk up to a group, listen in for a minute or two, and then contribute if/when it makes sense to do so. Only contribute if you have something interesting to say. If you know nothing about the topic, you can ask a question instead. Introduce yourself to the group. If you do this while people are talking about something else, make it quick and then return the focus to the conversation they were having: “Hi I’m just wandering around introducing myself to people. I’m Jane. Please go on with the conversation!” If you’re feeling extra brave, offer a new perspective to immediately steal the show. For example, you can say, “What you said about rom-coms is so interesting! I actually believe a lot of them can be pretty thought-provoking. " Talk to one person in the group first. If you notice someone standing on the sidelines of a large group and not really engaging in conversation, introduce yourself to them and talk to them for a while before turning your attention to the group.
An unreceptive group may politely say hello and then return to their conversation without making space for you. If they do this, just move on to another group or person. Remember that it might not be personal. They could be having a somewhat private conversation that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with new people. [4] X Research source Another thing that could happen is that the group receives you but doesn’t actively include you in the conversation. In this case they’ll likely make space for you and look at you and smile now and then. In this case, you need to make an effort to contribute. [5] X Research source
Dress to stand out, but don’t dress outside of your comfort zone. Exploring different styles is okay, but most of all it’s important to stay true to who you are.
Smiling big when you say hi to people will make them feel special, like they’re the reason you’re smiling. [7] X Research source
If you’re not a touchy-feely person, you might skip this step. It’s important to stay true to who you are. That said, you may want to try it out even if it does feel weird at first, just to see if it’s something you’re comfortable with. Pay attention to who you touch. Some people do not like being touched by other people. If someone seems uncomfortable when you touch them, don’t do it again.
A good posture shows confidence. Just be sure that you’re not overdoing it, otherwise you may look overly stiff or snobby, especially if your chin is raised too high, with your nose up in the air. If you’re sitting in a chair, if possible, move one of your elbows so that it rests atop the back of the chair. This will cause you to lean back a bit and make you look more confident. A standing version of this is to lean on a counter with one arm. [10] X Research source
When you’re talking to people, use positive, non-judgemental body language: smile; keep your chin down so that it doesn’t look like you’re turning your nose up at them; stand at a slight angle (a full frontal posture might feel dominating or insulting to some people); keep your palms up; and elevate your eyebrows while you talk. [12] X Research source Avoid negative body language such as slouching, crossing your arms across your chest, furrowing your brow, or tightening your lips. [13] X Research source Playing with your hair too much will make you look nervous, and make others nervous, too. [14] X Research source
This will open you up to meeting new people and will also give any admirers the opportunity to view you from different angles. [15] X Research source
Encourage people to talk about themselves by asking questions and actively listening. Receive what they say respectfully and without judgement, even if you disagree. Acknowledge any similarities between the two of you, as this will build a common rapport. Just be careful that you’re not one-upping them — for example, if you both had the same test at school, agree that it was hard, but don’t brag about the A+ you got. If you want to talk to your crush or maybe someone new, make them feel at ease by saying you’re just on your way out but you wanted to say hi. If they know you’ll be leaving soon, they won’t feel nervous about talking to you for too long, and will be more likely to engage in conversation with you. [17] X Research source
Have you ever stopped going to a restaurant because of the inconsistent quality of their food? When it’s good, it’s wonderful, but when it’s bad, it’s bad, and since it’s not consistent, it’s no longer worth the risk of going there. It’s the same with people and personalities. The more often people see you and become familiar with you, the more warmly they’ll feel about you and even work up the courage to approach you. If you build a good reputation for yourself and start to become a “regular,” people will start to get excited at the idea of running into you. So, keep going to house parties and eventually, you’ll probably build a little fan base.
When others are speaking, resist the urge to think about what you’re going to say next. Try to stay focused on what the person in front of you is saying instead. [20] X Research source
If someone says something you don’t agree with, try not to get insulted or argue right away. Instead, tell them you never thought of it that way, and ask them to explain further. [22] X Research source If the person expresses an opinion that offends you, consider whether you need to let them know that. For the most part, if someone is bigoted, it will be difficult to change their mind and probably not worth your time. Just politely excuse yourself and move on.
Just make sure that your questions are sincere. You don’t want to seem like you’re asking just to make conversation. Maybe don’t ask a doctor about an illness you have if you meet one at a party. They’re not there to work. You can, however, ask them what they do with difficult patients or about how difficult med school might have been, particularly if you want advice on scheduling your own time.
If you’re the first one to break the ice, people will see you as bold and fun. If you compliment them right off the bat, then you’ll definitely win them over.
It can feel a bit uncomfortable to practise new skills. You might even feel like you’re faking it, but this is where the saying “fake it till you make it” rings true. With time those skills will become second nature, and you’ll be happy you took the time to practise them. [27] X Research source
Avoid complaining too much or gossiping negatively about anyone. Your listeners are more likely to associate the things you’re complaining about with you than with who/what you’re complaining about. [29] X Research source
Encouraging people to talk about themselves will make them feel special and they will likely remember the conversation as being an interesting one. If you’re stuck for conversation, try asking someone about what sort of hobbies they have or what they’ve recently been up to. [31] X Research source If you know anything about the subject they’re talking about, share your experience without interrupting and without trying to one-up the person. If you don’t know anything about what they’re talking about, ask questions.
Some experts recommend having three good stories. [33] X Research source Just make sure that you switch them up every now and then so that people don’t catch you telling the same ones over and over again. Tailor your stories to the party. The stories you tell at a career-oriented party will likely be different from the ones you tell at a party full of your close friends. Stories about people are recommended. [34] X Research source
If no one is asking questions about what you’re saying, you might be boring them. [37] X Research source If you’re generally a bit of a rambler, and you realize you’re doing it at a party, stop and check in with your audience to make sure they’re still following you. If your listener begins to look restless or bored (checking their watch or phone, or looking around the room), stop yourself and apologize for being too chatty, and ask them something about themselves.
When you speak, be passionate. This doesn’t mean shouting or speaking loudly. It means, emphasizing your words with gestures and by changing the tone of your voice. [39] X Research source
It makes it a lot easier to make a lot of friends quickly if you chat about your hobbies. Plus, once you all find out that you love the same activities, you can make time to meet up at a group later. People will love that you brought everyone together.
Some medical conditions can cause people to smell bad even when they have good hygiene. If you think you might suffer from such a condition, see your doctor. You might consider using a whitening toothpaste while brushing your teeth. People with straight, white teeth are often thought to be more attractive than those without. [41] X Research source
Note that there are a range of healthy body types. Having a healthy diet won’t necessarily make you thin if you are naturally a bit larger, but it will keep you feeling healthy and energized, and able to do things to keep your body as lean and toned as possible. It may be tempting to stop eating or purge in order to lose weight, but please be kind to yourself and resist doing these things. They are not only extremely dangerous for your body; they are also emotionally stressful. If you think you may have an eating disorder, there are many resources available for you to get help. Look online or consult your doctor to learn more about resources in your area.
Ultimately how you style your hair depends on your own tastes. Sporting a new style is a great way to get noticed at a party, especially if it’s very different from what you’d normally do with your hair.
If you want to go more dramatic — for example, with a smokey eye or vibrant red lipstick — make sure that you makeup matches your outfit. You probably don’t want to look like Morticia Addams in blue jeans and a white T-shirt (although that could be funny).
As an example, you can spice up a little black dress with colorful earrings and a bracelet, and maybe draw those colors out by wearing shoes that match.
