The guys you meet will be used to having young girls who are needy trying to take up all of their time. You’ll show them that you’re different from these girls because you don’t need them. In turn, this will make them want you even more.

If people tease you for going clubbing instead of staying at home, don’t sweat it. You’re just living it up and going for the life you want. Everyone has their own definition of happiness. Then again, a cougar is more likely to not even think about failure in dating. She knows there are men who will drool over her beauty and sophistication and provided she chooses the right man when it suits her, she’ll never be at a loss for a date. Remember that not wanting commitment, only wanting a short-term relationship and being very sexy are enormous turn-ons for younger men. Plus, they get the chance to be shown the ropes.

This doesn’t mean that you should lie if you just went through a divorce or whatever. Just try to open with the light stuff and talk about the serious stuff later.

If you want to wear a tight dress and high heels in your forties, then woman, you’ve gotta have confidence to tie it all together. If you have the right attitude, you’ll be catching every guy’s eye.

When you meet a new man, tell him about all the cool stuff you’ve done. He’ll think you’re even more awesome because of it.

Think about what it took to land your current job or routine. Did you impress your boss or others with your knowledge or demonstrate unwavering decision making? Are you one of the best in your industry and why do your peers respect you? Consider the many things that you do well. Are you a great mom who can clean a mean house? Or are you a shark in the boardroom, typically getting the wavering board members to bow down to you?

Learn to blow off people who make your life lesser. You don’t need people who drain you of energy, take advantage of your or drag you down. No self-respecting cougar tolerates such people. Being cold and distant is often considered cruel. However, it’s an art form and using such a demeanor with some people is essential so that they get the message and know that they’re cut out of your life. Moochers, users and narcissists beware. Feeling a little disconcerted at being the one to take control and get what you want? Realize that being in control and getting what you want are actions taken for granted by many men; the cougar learns this to her advantage, gaining both power and respect.

You can go for a shorter bob if you think your long hair is too messy and unruly, but you should be careful. You don’t want to cut your hair so short that you’re starting to rock the Grandma look. Years ago, middle-aged women would cut their hair into a “sensible” style and let the greys pop. Today, no way. It’s about sweeping, shapely, sexy hair. Think Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore, not Martha Stewart. (However, think Helen Mirren if you do want to go grey and sexy; it’s all in a good haircut coupled with the independent attitude. )

You can go for a shorter bob if you think your long hair is too messy and unruly, but you should be careful. You don’t want to cut your hair so short that you’re starting to rock the Grandma look. Years ago, middle-aged women would cut their hair into a “sensible” style and let the greys pop. Today, no way. It’s about sweeping, shapely, sexy hair. Think Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore, not Martha Stewart. (However, think Helen Mirren if you do want to go grey and sexy; it’s all in a good haircut coupled with the independent attitude. )

Show off your best features. If you’ve got legs to die for, flaunt em. [6] X Research source Research what colors and clothing styles would look best on your body, and don’t be afraid to try something new!

However, don’t forget that curves can be ultra sexy too, provided you’re still toned and svelte. Go with what works for your body type.

If you want ’em really young, go to bars that cater to a college audience. Just make sure your man can legally drink.

While you may like your men young, try to remain within an age range where you could possibly be their date but not their mommy––you don’t want to play wet-nurse to an immature fledgling of a man still trying to find his way in life. Look for confident, sexy and well dressed young men. Seek eye contact; if they meet your gaze and hold it, you’re onto a good thing. Avoid young men who clearly have insecurity issues. They need to grow up without the lessons you have to teach; your experience and sexiness might be the last straw in their fragile egos. Choose between men you befriend and men you date. Those you befriend are your long-term friendships (with or without benefits); those you date tend to be very short-term, perhaps even one night stands, and are easily blown off.

You can do this as long as you don’t threaten the guy’s manliness. Teach him a thing or two without making him feel like he’s clueless.

Young men are grateful in bed and love the experience of older women. Also, guys in their early twenties are more at their sexual peak than men your own age, so enjoy the benefits.

Don’t bring it up, and if it does come up, just laugh. You can teach him a thing or two without reminding him that he’s half your age.

This is your ultimate power; just remain calm, stick with your long-term plan to date widely and freely and you’ll be fine.