How To Become A Pastafarian 13 Steps With Pictures

Participate in any sort of ceremony Pay any sort of fee Make any sort of promise or pledge Give up your current religion Know anything about Pastafarianism Have a literal belief in the FSM

The supreme deity is known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). He is an invisible, omnipotent, omniscient eternal being that takes the form of a giant clump of spaghetti with two meatballs and eyes. He created the entire universe in four days, then rested for three. Pirates are considered holy beings. According to the religion, pirates help fight global warming and protect against natural disasters. Every Pastafarian should strive towards pirate-hood. Pastafarian heaven is a land of “beer volcanoes and stripper factories. " Many adherents believe that it will accommodate the desires of every person, so the volcano can also produce non-alcoholic drinks, and the stripper factory will accommodate personal preferences, including preferences related to gender or whether to interact with the strippers at all. [2] X Research source [3] X Research source

Another major Pastafarian holy book is The Loose Canon (available online), which includes religious stories, guides for everyday life, prayers, and the writings of numerous important figures in the church such as Captain Jeff. [5] X Research source [6] X Research source

“I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. " “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. " “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?” “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. " “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. " “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multi-million Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (take your pick) Ending Poverty, Curing Diseases, Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. " “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (Pursuant To #4), then have at it. "

Pirates typically dress in flamboyant, colonial-era clothing, with ruffled shirts, bright jackets, bandanas, and eye patches being common. Pirates enjoy beer, grog, romance, the high seas, and anything that can get them a day off of work.

Every Friday: Friday is the sabbath day for Pastafarians. However, it doesn’t require any sort of special effort—Pastafarians may celebrate this day by “drinking beer and relaxing. " Ramendan: A month of sacrifice during which Pastafarians eat only pasta and noodle dishes after sundown. Start and end dates vary from year to year. Pastover: Pastafarians enjoy a feast of pasta, dress as pirates, and participate in a ritual passing of the eye patch. Date varies from year to year; usually in March or April. Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19th): Self-explanatory. Pirate costumes are recommended but not required. Halloween (October 31st): Pastafarians are obliged to dress like pirates. “Holiday:” Pastafarians celebrate a vaguely defined Christmas-like event in late December (no specific date is given by the church) any way they like, but especially with pasta, pirates, and beer.

Here’s just one Pastafarian prayer—you can find many more online. [8] X Research source Prayer of Knowledge Grant, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thy sauce; and in sauce, noodles; and in noodles, meatballs; and in meatballs, knowledge; and from knowledge, knowledge of what is tasty; and from knowledge of what is tasty, the love of spaghetti; and from spaghetti, the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.

Note that this rule isn’t just for people of other religions who consider Pastafarianism a heresy—it’s for atheists and agnostics as well.

If beer and pasta do not suit you, there is no pressure to partake. The FSM understand your dietary restrictions and personal preferences. Find something else that you enjoy.

Two of the biggest sects in Pastafarianism are the Orthodox and Reformed sects. Orthodox believers tend to have more conservative, literal views of Pastafarian beliefs, while Reformed believers tend to be more open to allegorical meanings. For instance, many Reformed Pastafarians believe in Automated Creationism, which is the idea that the FSM sparked the creation of the universe with a single event (the big boil), then let natural processes eventually create life. Orthodox Pastafarians, on the other hand, believe that the FSM deliberately and literally created all things.

You may also make your own propaganda materials if you wish. However, make sure your materials are consistent with Pastafarian doctrine. It wouldn’t be appropriate, for instance, to pass out flyers saying “The Flying Spaghetti Monster hates people who follow other religions. " This isn’t true—the FSM accepts people of all faiths.

In 2013, Czech Pastafarian Lukas Novy won a legal battle to wear a strainer on his head for his government ID photo, citing religious reasons. [10] X Research source In 2014, Christopher Schaeffer became the first openly Pastafarian politician in the U. S. when he wore a strainer while being sworn in to the Pomfret, NY Town Council. [11] X Research source Shawna Hammond was allowed to wear their religious headwear for her driver’s license photo in Oklahoma. [12] X Research source Jessica Steinhauser demonstrated her religious freedom by wearing her metal colander on her head for her driver’s license photo in Utah. [13] X Research source In 2015, the New Zealand Government approved the church’s application to conduct marriage ceremonies.