When you mentally picture a negative outcome to a situation, try to counteract the thought by telling yourself, “That is one way things could happen, but here’s a better outcome. ” Don’t try to counteract your positive mental image once you’ve pictured it. Allow yourself to believe that the outcome you pictured is a possibility.
Do not lead anyone on or try to make someone believe you have feeling for them when you do not. Instead, try paying a girl a simple, sincere compliment such as, “Your answer in class today was really insightful,” or, “I really like how you’re wearing your hair today. ” Remember that compliments and conversations can and generally should be about more than physical attraction or attributes. Try to pay attention to her mind and personality if you really want her to notice you. [2] X Expert Source Imad JbaraRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
If you are feeling hurt by rejection, remind yourself of your positive attributes. Let yourself know, “I am smart, funny, and I have great hair. There is a girl out there who will be happy to kiss someone like me. ” Remember that no girl owes you anything. She does not have to kiss you if she does not want to, and you cannot force her to change her mind, nor can you force yourself on her.
Take the time on the date to get to know her. Ask her questions such as, “What sort of hobbies are you into?” Offer your own views on her responses with statements like, “I’ve never done that activity but I would really like to try it. ” Actively listen to her responses. Listen to what she’s saying to get a better idea of whether she is looking for a romantic partner or if she’s more interested in making friends. Statements like, “My last crush didn’t work out so well,” could indicate she’s not looking for anything right now. Look your crush in the eyes when you are talking to her. This allows her to feel respected and listened to, and helps you better see and interpret her body language.
Look for multiple body language cues that indicate interest. Just one may be the result of a habit or friendly behavior, but multiple cues can help better indicate interest. If you think she might be interested in you, test the waters by gently touching her on the hand or forearm. If she pulls away, don’t be insulted or act cruel. Just understand that she was not comfortable with you in her space at that time.
Many girls will take being asked whether or not they want a kiss as a sign of respect and a show of affection. Don’t be afraid to ask. Allow her space to be honest. If she says yes, go in for the kiss. If she says no, accept her answer and thank her for her honesty.
Feeling more in control of the situation will help you relax and gain more comfort with the physical kissing process.
Always make sure that your partner is comfortable with any physical contact. If you are not completely sure of what they want, ask them, “Can I hold your hand?” or, “Would you mind if I put my arm around you?"[9] X Research source
You may want to consider carrying a tin of your favorite mints with you on your date. Do not rely on gum, as it does less to mask bad breath. You may also want to apply a little lip balm to help your lips from feeling chapped or uncomfortable.
If she smiles, giggles, or lets you know that she enjoyed the cheek kiss, it may be an indicator that she’s open to a kiss on the lips. If she states that she does not think of you in a romantic way or otherwise appears uncomfortable with your actions, accept the rejection and do not push her into further discomfort.
Don’t start with a French kiss or a wet, sloppy kiss. Go for a closed-mouth smooch at first, and wait to see how she reacts before kissing her again. If you are unsure about her feelings, ask her, “Can I kiss you again?” or “Did you enjoy that?”
